Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
