I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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