quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
