please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
