Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
