I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
