when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
