if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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