What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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