Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
