...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
