Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
