She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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