Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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