Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
