I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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