I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
