He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
