Having a random hookup so left but love u
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
im on a boat
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