I hate all girls vehemently.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
