Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm gonna have a badass scar
zippers are such a cool invention
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
