are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
