ugly people sure do ruin things
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I didn't notice because vodka
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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