was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
