Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Everyone says I win the strip club
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
