He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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