I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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