hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
BRING THE BAGELS
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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