Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
