I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
