True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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