I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
