When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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