do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Holy sore nipples Batman
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
