I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
