I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just found puke in my bra..
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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