he thought i was a dude.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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