I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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