new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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