i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Can you bring me the toilet please
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
