Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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