youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
