I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
