I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
