there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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