i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
