I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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