Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Vodka?
Forever.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
