you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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