If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
